wanderlust
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Teen angst.
Posted on Tuesday, 18 November 2014 @ 19:22 with 0 comment(s)


Peace be upon you, upon me. Hey hi hello there.

I miss those memories that I left behind. Everything. My old buddies, my previous high school, the teachers and my old self. When I caught myself smiling or laughing for remembering those hilarious yet mesmerizing memories, I felt a pang of loneliness along with pains. Something that can't be described by words, and something that can't be put into metaphors. A part of me just got weaken every time I wish they were here with me. I miss them, so damn much.

I once told myself it's alright if I can't fit in around my new friends. I thought it would be ok because I've got my old buddies. But it seems like I hoped too much. I put my expectations way too high. And yeah, expectation kills. Maybe I'm too attached with the past that I came to forget the fact that reality still exists. That those people change. That time heals their pain. That they moved on. That somehow it's not anybody's fault if I'm feeling like an outsider. I don't know how to describe what I feel anymore. Life has been really tough on me these days. And trust me, I'm not that strong. There's some point in life where I choose to give up without even trying.

So y'know, I've been trying my best to be closer to the Almighty. To change my bad attitude to a better one. I believe that happiness is a choice of life. And yes, I choose to live a happier life in the future. I choose to live my life according to the way of Islam. I also came to realize that I should be thankful, for every single thing that I have now. I should express my greatest gratitude to Allah, for giving me the chance to learn how to be independent and how to not screw up. It seems churlish to complain when I have a lot to be grateful for, right?

"When negative thoughts and dark moods come to you, remember that you have a choice. If you need help, reach out for it. You are not alone. You can choose to picture better days and to perform actions that will make them real. Who knows what great days and wonderful achievements await you? Who knows how many lives we can make better by serving as someone's else miracle?" -Nick Vujicic






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annyeong ;
Alia. 18, future cardiologist.

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